joy in discovery

"I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious."
- Albert Einstein

best quote i have ever heard/read:

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms...

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world."
-Mary Oliver

antony and the johnsons. oh my god. takes my breath away. 

 "a lot of people enjoy being dead. but they are not dead, really. they're just backing away from life. reach out. take a chance. get hurt even. but play as well as you can. go team, go! give me an L. give me an I. give me a V. give me an E.  L-I-V-E.  LIVE!"
-maude

"and i want to tell her to do more than just believe it,
but to enjoy it!
...that changing your mind is one of the best ways
of finding out whether or not you still have one.
or even that minds are like parachutes,
that it doesn't matter what you pack
them with so long as they open
at the right time."

-taylor mali, from "like lilly like wilson"


i forgot how much i love him.

my sister sent this to me:

"touch the earth, love the earth, honour the earth, her plains, her valleys, her hills, and her seas; rest your spirit in her solitary places. for the gift's of life are the earth's and they are given to all"
-h. beston

for earth hour i studied by candlelight (almost caught my hair on fire...but that's not the point), and earth day is coming. april 22! don't forget!!

all of a sudden, out of nowhere, here it is.

i sent my resume to the university of cali medical center....it may be a stretch. other than that, all i did was post it on aota's page and people (recruiter's, mostly) have been calling/stalking me.





i wish i had more friends on this thing. rather, i wish that the friends i had on this thing updated more.

back to studying (....or should i say checking gmail/facebook/livejournal/digg/flikr/craigslist every 2 seconds?).

"As you now understand, Socrates was recommending that we act happy, radiate a happy positive state in the posture of our body, in our voice, in our expression — because that is something we can control. We can will ourselves to smile; we can behave and move and breathe as if we’re happy. Whatever the shifting state of our actual emotions, we can let our feelings be, get on with life, radiate energy into the world, and expand into the moment. This practice can be extremely difficult at times, but it remains possible. That’s what Soc advised me to do, and that’s what I recommend — and what I live to the best of my ability, moment to moment."
- d. millman

apparently i'm going to write in this thing every hour while i study. but i like to make lists and here are some things i'm excited for:

having my own place again and painting it wonderful colors
having huge bookshelves lined with books
possibly getting a tattoo
self discovery
expanding my music collection
shopping at ikea again
being financially stable
getting photoshop and developing my pictures and framing them and decorating my walls with them and maybe selling them
living in a cool city

um that's all for now.

things are beautifully falling into place.




and i am happy.

three days ago, i woke up really inspired. i drove home (to SCS) at around 10 am. the first song that came on shuffle was "peace train" by cat stevens (one of the best songs in the world). so as i was on the highway, i was thinking about life a lot, and how influence and change and inspiration come about. so i stuck my hand out the window and held a peace sign for almost half the ride. my hand felt numb, and many people looked as me like i was crazy, but one man flashed it back to be. he stuck his hand out the window and shook his peace sign through the air, and i almost cried.

spread the love.

dave matthews is exploding in my ear drums and i want nothing more than summertime. i signed a lease for a slightly more crappy apartment than i am accustomed to, but i am looking forward to fixing it up and making it my own. i got accepted into the Eastern Michigan University's Masters Occupational Therapy program, and finishing A&P II, neuroanatomy, and statistics, along with receiving CPR certification and a list of vaccines is all i need to do to continue following this dream. lastly, i set him apart. and i couldn't be happier.


here's to the upcoming months..

relax and stand in the warmth of the sand
the day is long
and here for us to take for granted.
we find ourselves to our knees
water clear, a tender breeze upon our faces
as we bask in our good graces
yeah, we all are golden here.

and summer, and summer,
where night belongs to lust and lovers.
and summer, and summer,
and I am here to win you over.
you will be mine this year.
- dc

so, i just turned my portfolio in. just handed my life away into someone else's hands. this moment is big. i'm shaking.

"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean security.
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure.....that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth."




having found happiness within myself is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. i hope the same has or will happen for all of you.

love.

and you've been carved into my senses
since the day we never really said goodbye
no, no, no
they'll never hurt me like you do
and i never knew it could feel so good
i never thought i could
i never thought i would fall





i went to the apple store today and they replaced my iPod. i don't think i'll ever buy a non-apple computer again. they're amazing.

almost everything is fake, and i'm looking for something real.

our trip to mexico got cancelled...i'm pretty upset about that. it's some bull shit with the flights. so the fam went ahead and cancelled it all without talking about it with everyone. it's okay. we might be going somewhere else, i was just really looking forward to seeing the ocean and lying out in the sun all day in the beginning of janaury. oh, and getting drunk with my sister at the bar.

i want to drink tonight (and make out). we have class tomorrow, but then no class for almost a week, which is going to be wonderful.

i'm going to dye my hair back to my darker color over break. i don't like this poopy color.

love.

i love late night walks around campus, and unexpected talks.




i miss goddard, a lot...eastern just isn't the same over here.

my back hurts when i'm stressed.
and completely overwhelmed.
(like i am right now).
so, i want a massage. and maybe some ben n' jerry's.


today is BEAUTIFUL. i want to skip the rest of my classes and lie on the grass with music in my ears.



i'll be there
and i'll try to identify,
try to look through the gray skies in your eyes
and pick up everything you left behind
cross your fingers, and pray for winter
i'll be there...

painting the town your favorite color.

sometimes i forget how much i love dashboard. it's like i go through these stages. i am always, always in love with them (him), but sometimes i will be listening to it and feel as if i've never realized how absolutely amazing that music is. seriously. amazing. so fucking passionate and real. anyway i've also been listening to copeland a lot lately, they're really good.

sooo for the last week, i've been spending almost every waking minute of my life painting my aunt's house with my sister and dave. as of right now, i just got home from being there since nine a.m., and i'm covered in paint. no complaints though.

i can't wait to get back to school! i just can't wait to see everyone and i specially can't wait to see elise all the time again, i miss her so much. oh and i got new school supplies!

i really, really, really love mae. and i am very, very upset that i missed the warped tour.


this summer, thus far, has been pretty amazing. unfortunately, bill and i didn't make enough money to go on our cross country road trip, so i'm pretty dissappointed about that. and like i previously said, i missed the wapred tour. but besides that, my summer has been damn good. i have been looking every single day for kenny chesney tickets, and i won't stop until i get them. i think my mom and i are going to be making some sort of road trip out of this.


ps- if martini's, candlelight, and live jazz music doesn't set the mood, then i don't know what does.

i've known for a little while now that andrew mcmahon was diagnosed with cancer. but it hit me today like a flying brick. and i cried. i know that there are a few people out there that understand how i feel about this. it feels as if a close friend or family member is dying. i know it sounds crazy...

i am in love with his music, and have been since the second i heard it about three years ago. i fell in love accompanied by his music. i felt his words when i looked into others' eyes, and understood every meaning. i traveled many, many miles to absorb the brilliant passionate energy that something corporate displays when they perform their completely genuine music. i have looked into his eyes and felt every word he had ever written. i have fallen apart and healed from heartache from his words. his music opens up my heart.






pray for andrew.